Saturday, September 10, 2011
I remember 9/11 because it is the day I began to suffer the miscarriage of our ds Diego Romero.
I've also had a guilt underlying this event and the horrific tragedy that happened that day.
my grief was deeper for my baby.
It just was and yes still is.
I've felt horrid and when this day comes I just remain silent . letting this sadness sit within me .
I have suffered many miscarriages but this one , that date , perhaps with such dramatic evnts such as this brings the meory of our loss back even stronger .
Maybe my guilt can pass into a new grief , a shared grief .I honestly don't know .I felt the guilt I cannot mourn our baby when so many others were dying ! and such a horrid death of innocent victims . how could I possibly express emotion in regards to losing a child when others are going through such pain and this is 10 yrs ago . sould I not be over this grief by now ? I wonder are people in NYC over greiving yet ? what I know from losing loved ones is as Toni Morrison said it is a disrespect to the dead to get over it . The pain is always there when we lose a child a loved one . Life goes on we evolve and do move on being productive individuals but do we forget , not have pain or sadness ever again . No.
I know this feeling of guilt is wrong , I know I need get through it but for now that is what is going on with me emotionaly .