Tuesday, November 15, 2011

returning to the goddess ~ Vesta ~ Hestia ~ Rox

I really felt I was losing myself there for awhile .
I'm still taking baby steps , being good to myself and keeping things very simple .
I really had a hard transition returning to the city this yr.
I felt down , sluggish and the more I felt like it the less I did . Entering the cycle of self harm.
I felt I was bad Mum because all the kids were doing was computer & tv . I lost my umph in bread making , cleaning , sewing , all my home making was going down hill.
what to do ? I knew I wanted out of the funk I was in .
I felt isolated and less than. Everywhere I turned there was super Mum , worse super exclusive competitive homeschool mum .which I shall write about that encounter and experience on our homeschooling blog later .
I had to look at myself .
I knew I needed to value myself and our children again .
I prayed and then it came to me , she came to me , Vesta , Hiesta & Rox ☺
I am focusing again on my homemaking thanks to Vesta & Hiesta .
I know when we do build our new home there will for sure be a statue dedicated to the oly Family , this is a given .
Yet when it comes to my kitchen , my sacred Hearth I am placing a plaque in dedication to Vesta .Goddess of the home & hearth .
I am slowly doing one step at a time getting our health in order , returning to healthy diet & exercise . Our youngest really suffered the last 3 months he is very small for his age and has always struggled with trying to gain weight like his momma .
Then our family life , it really showed the added stress on family unit activity and union when my dh has been working not only each weekday but each and every Saturday for the past 3 months . we need to refocus as a family even if it is  1 hr. per day in the evening .
then our homeschool , yes I'm an unschooler focusing on seasonal teaching & learning but doing lazy assed nothingness is not unschooling !
We were very lonely upon our return to the city so I realized there is no use sitting & sulking over mean homeschoolers who shun us . No !
I need get off my butt and make some new and healthy home school connections .
We are also gearing up to do our no Internet access again except the library .
It seems odd that internet being such a social media outlet we would not be isolated but it is true we venture out far less when we are sitting online gabbing with our fb friends etc.
We've done this before and I look forward to the time spent with the kids walking , visiting local shops etc.
So I'm reading The Goddess is in The Details  again for inspiration and returning to Waldorf natural learning with the kids .
I'm trying to get Indigo to study lean to shelters so maybe he and friends could build something on the property come spring ☺
So return to the goddess how does this help Rox well like I said that prayer that connection with Vesta & Hiesta also bringing me back to functioning simply is a return to self.
Rox can see the goddess within herself once again .
My dh called me a goddess last year and at the time I really felt connected to Athena but I'm not there yet .I'm still feeling weak & vulnerable after dealing with that bully .
So I think Vesta is a really gentle goddess , strong yes but keeping spirit close , staying cautious , restoring boundaries for self & family .
It sure is feeling good to be back .
I'm even encouraged to do a little planning for Yule & Advent .

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