Tuesday, January 31, 2012



Tree of Sun , Southern Stand
Growth from fire
Protector of  gentle wings 
Souls  fly again
  In root and branch
Tree of my heart
Strength does dwell
Lifting ever more spirit strong and true

Friday, January 27, 2012

Blended ~ Blood , Belief & Being

Letter B ~ Pagan Blog Project

Blended as in Blood , Belief & Being

I sort of wish the letter was D today so I could slack off and just say I'm Drained !
I've had the issue of assimilation come to me over the last two weeks the good/bad aspects of the topic .
and yet Blended maybe is the same word ?  it has equally good/bad qualities or stereotypes depending on the  attitude of people and the intention .Certainly Canada is a country that wishes to some extent have an assimilated society , the multi ethnic culture that  the gov. wishes to reflect many but yet remain one . some good and some bad outcome . What I have seen is with each decade , with each generation people usually have made the assumption they have it right compared to the previous generation . I think this can at times be a deceptive and arrogant assumption .
I am a blended person as were most my ancestors . Mixed blood .
Have experienced both the negative and positive aspects of being blended .
What I am most shocked with and dh mentioned just the other night how in what we see as such a global world and open minded peoples in a so called liberal thinking society still in the end for so many it comes down to the issue of skin tone . Blood line , belonging to one people , being of one belief . I was shocked when just a few weeks back someone who tries so hard to present themselves as being open minded did the whole judging one is not aboriginal if ones skin tone is not dark enough .
Blended blood , family ties . I don't believe blood is what makes us family just by mere DNA match ups .
Yet it how one identifies oneself with a specific group too , is it not ? One cannot claim to be Italian unless of Italian bloodline ? Yet if one immerses oneself within a culture or takes on a citizenship is one not then an Italian ?
What of belief ? Religious  or Spiritual or moral belief ? As a blended person one does not reject all of the belief of another , no one sees the truth and denial in all is what I feel. I believe belief can change , ones truth can change .
Is it not so that many of the old pagan cultures took on the religious beliefs of another ? Interweaving and blending .
I find this world very judging and the want of segregation runs very deep within many religious be they pagan or christian , muslim etc.
When I approached the catholic church in 1999 I learned so much within that time both good and bad but what it did most was reconnect me to my blended side  .I had to see how narrow I myself had been and how my pagan ways actually had led me to have a hate of christians . I even was instilling that upon our elder children . in the end hate is hate  & fear is fear no matter what so called religion we are supposedly practicing . I saw how my great grandmother may have prayed the rosary but also read tea leaves . How the love of ST.Brigid also opened me up to remember walking with fairies and how this is so totally acknowledged within the Irish culture .
That the 4 directions , Medicine Wheel and Pipe ceremony are not evil practices .
I love that I can walk with souls with Padre Pio and the Butterflies .
That I will dedicate our dd25 to ST.Brigid and the Goddess Danu on Imbolc .The witch bottle I just made involved pray to both Our Lady Guadalupe and Quetzelcoatl . This is how the Divine speaks to me personally as my blended self.
Being  of blended belief means we are to be open to learning , understanding & accepting the cultural , spiritual practices of another rather than believing ours is the only way .
Being a blended being instills balance &  having true contentment
I also feel very strongly that being blended means respecting tradition . That yes we share and give are open to receiving but also giving .
There are some who feel religion should remain to only one people , say the practice of the sundance . some even feel it is only for men to partake .
So what is it then ? For me I believe it is to be shared with all yet not meant for all to dance . I love the sundance but I am not called to dance this dance . perhaps I may be at some point asked to help be a caregiver for someone who is themselves dancing this dance . we all have our calling and role.
There are those who want to belong , who do things in wanting to be rather than being .
It is very important to me that we are open enough to see this within ourselves . Do I want to be just to fit in , be cool , to belong .
Also do I act selfishly wanting all for myself and not include others in order so I can get to the top and be important and special .
I know some like this and they are not true leaders if they have had to boss or push others away and be exclusive rather than inclusive .
Some seem also very possessive , which is different then being cautious and protecting .
 No one owns creation , no one owns the seasons , the waters , the moon , sun and stars . No one people nor religion can claim ownership to these things . Yet I see many get upset when someone of another faith wishes to honour the Creator by praying on the fullmoon .
That is not being blended it is rather being of narrow mind and often just as cliquey as the religious group some claim to be persecuted by .
Anyway I know to be true to self I need be well blended . I need to be open to change my blended self ongoing to continue to be apart of that sacred circle .

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Pine Juniper Cedar

Pine Juniper Cedar

the blend today
holding me strong
Kateri wrapped in birch 
comfort in soul sisters ,  companion to go on
memories held  and pain acknowledged
does love let go ?
or perhaps bind forever more ?
the heart can only heal the question asked not that which remains hidden
so the blend reminds
 strength of unity in pine
juniper to restore light within the spirit
the cedar cleanse  of a deep healing
this is the true blend of the day

Monday, January 23, 2012

Bedside Reading Challenge

Yes , I am going to try and partake in yet another reading challenge !
Each Month Chari ( I think this is how it works ) shall choose a random letter from the alphabet . We are to chose a book off our bedside shelf or nearest shelf that begins with that letter .
This month of January 2012 the letter M has been chosen .
I honestly hope I can do this one because it is actually encouraging me to read those books I already have .
I know January is almost over but I'm still joining in because I've a half finished book Mythologies by William Yeats that I started 3 months ago and just left .
I have so many books by my bed so I am limiting this to the one small handmade bookshelf my grandfather made . they are my own books where the others which are strewn round the bed are often mags , poetry or library books .
I don't know if this will encourage me to use what I have and not purchase so many books or not but it is worth a shot lol .

Saturday, January 21, 2012

dear religious bonkhead

I had been exposed to the old people judging others and more so people judging the religious beliefs of others . this happened to be the catholic judging catholic issue but it is prevalent all over the net . pagans judge pagans , christians judge pagans , pagans judge christians . it is a judgey mcjudger world at times . my next B word for the pagan blog project is blended as in blood , path , religion , culture etc.
It is pretty obvious that is who I am and whom I most associate with , even online but the online community has less control over abusive bullies than the little communities we can chose and make for ourselves . 
 Really I could've written this to any person but it just so happened I was sparked/triggered  by a catholic post do some catholics actually believe somehow the people of the  world or we so called fallen catholics are not aware of the teachings of or the CCC ?
 I mean as adult beings are we not to walk our walk , use our free will , own our sin or poor habits & unhealthy behaviours  and receive our graces ?
  is it really a calling of God/ Goddess, Creator , Divine  asking random people to come onto the internet and tell me an almost 50yo homeschooling mother of 6 beautiful heathens that I'm doing it wrong ? that I'm a bad bad catholic , pagan , heathen & not being a real one . even worse I'm to be grateful now and thank them for their devote holiness be they pagan or christian ? really ? instead of calling the police about the child predator down the street , volunteering at the food bank , driving a senior or seniors to church the grocery , cross the street  , reading to the shut in at home . God is asking all these wonderful people  to come online and tell me how bad, evil, and wrong we are so I can then come closer to God . Oh that worked !
really honestly when someone says they are praying for my soul .I love it ! I want people to pray for my soul ! however it is not out of real concern or love for another . what it usually means is mine is in such a pathetic state and not even remotely destined for heaven or another land of bliss . they in no way believe that I equally should pray with deep concern and love for their soul because of course they are above the need for prayer in regards to their soul anyway .
really is this what the Divine  is asking ? if Lord & Lady  asks you or I to pray for someone , do it ! but don't use Creator to make another feel less than , that is abuse and the worst kind using God Goddess as an excuse to harm another . Creator never gave us permission to harm another , never .
so these are experiences I've had & the reasons I just stopped blogging and showing my catholic self  , and yet my blended self is who I am I don't believe "they " got it all wrong . I believe there has been proof and truth in all peoples Creator has given and shared . That Krishna connects me to the sacred heart is a part of me , that I work with the Fey and love Momma Mary is me , how I worship . That I use herbs and trees , pray with the full moon . it is who I am . This is my spiritual being , how I try and figure it out . I am right I am wrong . I am a child of the Creator and I am loved . If I have gotten it terribly wrong I trust and believe I'll be open enough to receive that lesson .

 it was so strange for me to read on project pagan enough , them bashing a woman who wrote a book on The Christian Witch . I mean is it not her path ? is it not between she and whomever her god is ? but no now here was a pagan saying someone was not pagan enough . and the narrow minded assumption being pagan means a version of popular European paganism catch the wave ! I belong, I'm part of the pack and if you to not conform to the status quoe you are somehow not a pagan .

so I may be with the few but I so so love my blended self
 I truly feel if we are online trolling for people to criticize , point out how wrong they are doing it , we are not in union with any type of universal creator we are actually revealing the insecurity within ourselves and really do not have the confidence to know we are loved .
so perhaps the religious bonkheads will take a deeper look and ask themselves why do I need make another feel worthless , unworthy , less than and try to instill guilt in order for my own self to have a feeling of elation ?
enough said , I'm off to prepare my walk , collect my moose skins to begin my sewing my sacred outfit .

Thursday, January 19, 2012

B is for Bottle

Letter B Pagan Blog Project
B is for Bottle Witch's , Prayer , Protection

Yep I don't care what You want to call it .I was scared sh..less last week !
I had the witch's bottle come to me several times over the last 2 months . I'd done some good reading about them . bottles which are basically a form of containing items .burial pots thousands of yrs. old can be called witch's bottles of some kind .
However the bottle I was specifically called to was regarding protection .
Those who know me and my family we are not knew to the area of protection regarding child predators , inner city life , gang violence etc.
I can usually manage quite well. our home is safe and secure . we don't go in for alarms and such but we've got our husky dogs , know the when to have doors locked and so forth .
we've an awesome yard but also have an awesome fence . rarely do we feel unsafe when within our own home .
Yet I won't kid you, it has happened on the rare occasion . And when it does !
it is the worst feeling ever .It leaves you shaking trembling . when you really realize sometimes you have no control over the violence that people can chose to inflict upon another . Realizing you cannot control the safety of your children in a certain situation will be one of the worst experiences a parent has got to go through .Believe me we've experienced almost losing a child via illness several times it is a terrifying I never would wish for any parent to go through .
that we are absolutely helpless to protect our child . imagine people who have had children abducted ! if I shake because of the worry we may have someone harm us a child taken must be drop to your knees stuff .
as I write this the police helicopter is flying over head a new addition to the war on crime since last summer .
so yes just like that , what I'd put off for two months was done within a few hrs ! I went into a whiz !
I'd already read this great little write up on witch bottles like I said a couple months back .
there are a ton of others out there as well to read up on .
Usually the purpose was almost always regarding protection
I also read and had taken out that old time staple Solitary Witch by Silver . It was her instructions I used once all my items were gathered and the jar prepared .
Below is what I planned and used

Now I had in my head whenever the witch bottle popped up thought of items to collect and place in it . so I guess I wasn't really putting it off .
I also as mentioned tend to be a very much tradi in that we use what we have . where we live , what we grow & harvest ourselves . If we really need to then we might order something or go to a local East Indie shop but for the most part I try to live and especially my spiritual work use what we were given right here .
bottle recipes/ spells come with all types of ingredients so please think & pray on it before making your own .
For example almost all the spells call for urine but not all .
I chose my hair instead of urine .
some call for nails or tacks , I had for some reason felt called to save dead wasps this past Autumn with stingers intact . I'd not heard of the witch bottle at the time ;-)

Here are my items Wormwood, Pine , Hair, Oak, Rowan, Copal & Wasps.
I then sprinkled it with homegrown lavender my plant Allie this yr.

I did not have a face on my jar just a plan old jar or rather a new jar our ds22 had just given me for christmas

I stuffed the jar with a pic of Our Lady Guadalupe and also my incantation for Quetzalcoatl who is not only a protector and helper but also a strong maker of boundaries ! 
I then placed the herbs on top . I then made a mixture of sacred water , salt, oil and earth and poured it into the jar .
I can really testify that the gods
goddesses of Central America are strong protectors especially when it comes t children ,but then again so is Kali lol so maybe most are looking out for kids ;-)

I love how this is framed in the jar

Then of course with it being -33c outdoors the ground is terribly frozen . So I placed the bottle under our front step .
So far I have felt a sense of warmth and safety . some instructions say replace every 3 months some say leave it forever . I guess I'll go with my gut on that and just trust I'll know when another is needed ☺

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Preparing ~ Imbolc, Candlemas , Groundhog Day

I'm beginning to prepare our Imbolc crafts & recipes .
This is a big day for us as it is also the birthday of our ds23 Dacotah . Who moved back to our city this past Autumn to attend school .
I am slowly preparing a lovely dedication to Brigid for our dd25 who is taking the steps towards becoming a Midwife !
Brigid Goddess & Saint Brigid are both connected to Midwives, pregnant women , birth & nursing ☺

I love this book by Cait Johnson and think I will do the rainstick craft with my grandson
check Your library as it is a popular book here is the same craft at Enchanted Learning

All Year Round has some neat candle crafts and although I have beeswax for melting I think I will purchase the sheets to do candle craft with my grandson
gather herbs and purchase wax sheets , & wick . just sprinkle wax sheet with herbs or flowers , use a hair dryer to warm the sheet a little if you like to make the sheet a little easier for little hands to roll
I'll try and post photos the day after we do the activity .
I also hope to do this Waldorf Candle activity Thanks to Nissa and her Family ☺

Yes I will usually always use this book in our festival posts ! As usual there are stories , a song and recipes .
This year I am making the Ginger Beer recipe !
My sil has been making Ginger Beer from the recipe from the book Wild Fermentation and for those who love fermented things and vinegar type flavour you will love that recipe as my dh did . However I do not like fermented things nor vinegars with the exception of very mild rice vinegar .
 So this recipe is a yeast one and a sweet one . It takes about 2-3 days to be ready . 

Although this book does not have actual activities specific to candlemas aside from candle making there are spring songs and poems , the story of Persephone

I am not using an activity this time from Earthways but it is such a wonderful book I do not want to leave it out
and it does have several gardening activities . We are a tad early for spring here as winter can be 4 more months .However I almost always do this activity with the ids which my Mum always did with us ☺

That is purchase bulbs and plant them with the kids

 You can use either pots with potting soil or use stones placed in cake pan , pie plate etc. place bulbs on top and water the pan .

I also am planning that along with the Brigid's cross acitvity I will also make God's Eye Craft with the kids .
If You want an adult version check this out ! Just awesome

I am excited about this recipe book I found at the library .
I am going to make several of the recipes  for ds23 birthday The Walnut Onion Bread , Crustade of Chicken . The book does not include but I am making an old fashioned Custard pudding too .
For the dedication for our dd I am making the Moon Cookies in a crescent shape .

I also love love this book !
I always make the Brede's Braid Bread recipe .
This is also the book I learned my true form of Divination biblomancy it is a really good read .

and of course we will watch Groundhog Day for Dacotah's celebration ☺

It is also of course the day Jesus was dedicated in Jewish tradition and when Dacotah decided to be baptized all those yrs ago he took the name Jesus as a confirmation name .

As I mentioned I am getting ideas from several sources to have a nice dedication for my dd
perhaps the fairy wine or a dairy source for the drink to go along with the theme of nursing Mother . I think I may also make a Brede's bed and a special prayer candle using specific herbs .
I'm still looking for an appropriate incantation .I may make my own ☺

Sunday, January 15, 2012

new altar room

Since coming back from the lake and staying with my Mother  in Sept. I had been without my indoor altar space . I had a small altar in our bedroom but not the free space I am used to. Well come cold weather I had to move indoors and my spiritual practice lagged without having an area of my own .
Well I cleaned out our little spare room once ds22 was settled into his own place .Then my wonderful dh stripe the fir floors , painted the walls and I moved in ! I have to say it seemed to clean and barren at first but as I lit candles, smudged , books began finding space on the floor the room soon became mine .
After my first fullmoon time in it I now feel the space is truly scare space .
This week is my bday and I will do a special dedication to Blessed Kateri . I've not checked yet if Judika Illes listed Kateri in her latest book or not . I do hope so ☺
below are some photos to help give you an idea of what I like and use and my wonderful room of inspiration .

There is my chair from childhood my Mum would rock me in
the stool is one of the items my grandfather made .

this is a wall plaque that was always in my grandmother's cottage

I love the Llewellyn calendar because of Jennifer Hewittson's art work .

This was my Christmas altar

A few special items jaw bone I dug up when I was 4yo which took me all day to do lol

This was a piece my Mother always had when she gave it to me I striped the paint off

that is my fav stick that I have found thus far

close up, my prayer sticks are in the bucket by the radiator

camel bells. my gramma loved bells and always had strings of them hanging round her house .

prayer sticks

St.Benedict medal with homemade wooden beads of protection pine & cedar

I have always wanted a fireplace indoors so moved my outdoor hearth indoors

old shelf I keep the items I use for fullmoon

painting that belonged to my great auntie and the skin from my childhood drum my grandmother gave me .I am going to make a new drum ☺

 this is the clay etching my ds made tree of life

Eagle feather

special items in drawer

blessed Kateri

staff dh made and our gathering bags

this is a rock from my grandmothers cottage . I call it the godhead

prayer stick ds made when he was 12yo

Jan. fullmoon

cleaned up getting ready for Imbolc

fullmoon altar

this is a bag our ds bought me when he was 7yo at a yard sale . after a few yrs I thought I could sneak it out of the house . he saw and was deeply hurt I would give away his gift .so I knew I had to find a special purpose for it . I keep all my fullmoon prayers  & bundles in it .

prayer sick and knife

stones and resins

our dd gave this fairy journal 5 yrs ago .I began using it only for my fullmoon writings . once full it shall be full of all my fullmoon experiences

angel bell

pouches to hold my sacred items

little shells from the lake make wonderful dishes

this is the outfit I wear bought 28 yrs ago in Chiapas MX.

a bit of everything ☺