Friday, March 16, 2012

PBP Letter F ~ Family

PBP Letter F ~ Family

If there is one thing I am grateful for in my pagan journey it is that of family . I know I've written about importance of community before but this also includes my family .
Coming from a life of abuse and encountering abusive people throughout my life I know full well family has nothing to do with bloodline . This can be hard at times in a world that right now although global also segregates people by ethnic bloodlines .
to be bloodline is nothing more than passing on biological traits . Of course this is important in regards to issues as illnesses and we all have a longing to connect with ancestral roots . Yet for me bloodline limits and stops people often from perhaps learning where they truly belong .
I mean what if someone is connected to the Ojibwe people , forms bonds , lives within that society are they in fact not now an ojibwe person ? If I immerse myself within the Italian culture live , work and practice cultural beliefs can I then not become an Italian person ?
Yes I see and know both beautiful and abusive people within the pagan community .Yet I've formed bonds with people just as I have with my catholic family , the homeschool family etc. over the years .
My dh is not close to his side at all , he longs for love not given .
Where did he find this acceptance and love ? Within my family !
I look at the man he becomes whole when with my family , they accept and value him .
My own sister by blood I have no contact with but I have sisters soul sisters whom I bond with , we care about each other and our families.
Online I have family who shares so much , I know them , I know their family their children and partners .
As I write this the brothers downstairs joke and play . Is it because of bloodline ? No they've grown together , sharing , fighting , working things out . They journey together , they come to understand , have compassion , to forgive etc.
What about adoption . I used to be very against adoption and I do still feel that there are often ethical boundaries crossed in many adoptions . Yet as our own children grow older the issue of foster care comes up I feel perhaps once we've moved it might be something we are called to do , to help parent other children .
I do know people who have treated adopted & foster children very poorly , actually used them for slave labour , abused them , not treated them as family even alongside birth children making a very visible line between the two.
When I read about the entertainer Josephine Baker and her Rainbow Family years ago it made me smile . She just knew that race , bloodline did not matter , what humans need is true & real love . If a child grows up knowing they are loved nothing else matters .
I will leave you with the words of Mother Teresa which just so happens to be the reading in her Day Book The Joy in Loving on my birthday, so very appropriate to remind me ☺

there is much suffering in the world- physical,material,mental.
the suffering of some can be blamed on the greed of others.
the material and physical suffering is suffering from hunger, from homelessness, from all kinds of diseases.
but the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved,having no one.
I have come more and more to realize that it is being unwanted that is worst disease that any human being can ever experience.


  1. This was so beautiful! I also come from an abusive home, and I know exactly what you mean - family is created, love and respect is earned. I have had so many friends in my life who became family, and I wouldn't have it any other way <3

  2. Beautifully presented! I've found it difficult, over the years to open up and "connect" with people - maybe because my own family (I have six siblings but you'd never know it) doesn't "know how to" connect. Friends have given me much more care and genuine concern than biological relatives have - in many instances. I feel fortunate to have met so many - even through this project - whom I feel I can share with and trust. Blessings

  3. Lovely blog, I feel so blessed to have a wonderful family

    Rachel x